Doing Less

This woman is Julie Beck, the General Relief Society President. In a talk given in October General Conference 2007, she counseled the women of the church to know who they are and know who God is. Once we know these things we will have great power to influence our children. One of the best things we can do for our children is less. Julie Beck states, "Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power."

It is not only our women leaders who are counseling mothers to do less. Elder Ballard of the Twelve Apostles, in a talk given during April General Conference 2008 entitled "Daughters of God," says, "The first question: What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?
First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).
Second, don’t overschedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.
Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
This is wise counsel, women!

The Joy of Raising Your Own Children

“We have been so anxious to give our children what we didn’t have that we have neglected to give them what we did have.”
– Author Unknown

Homemade Baby Food

At about six months babies start to need something a little more substantial. Find a good baby book to help on what kinds of foods to introduce and how quickly. When it comes time to introduce solids, special store bought baby foods are not necessary. And there is no need to prepare two different meals for family and baby. Babies can eat what the family eats as long as it is not overly seasoned, salted or sweetened.

Cereals: Rice is usually the easiest on digestion. Prepare rice or other grain for family (wheat and corn are the hardest on sensitive digestive systems) and place a small amount in blender for baby. Add water and blend to a creamy consistency. Freeze leftover rice in ice cube trays, pop out when frozen and store in labelled freezer bags. Defrost and heat in microwave oven or in saucepan and serve when ready to feed baby rice cereal again.

Vegetables: Prepare cooked vegetables the same way as cereal preparation.

Fruit: Can be prepared by either pureeing fresh or slightly cooked fruit.

Meats: Can be processed the same way but need a sauce, gravy, or cream soup added to give it a creamy consistency and ease for swallowing.

Desserts: Puddings make a good treat for baby but do not give often.

Teething children often enjoy chewing on large chunks of frozen broccoli, carrots, and
apple slices. Large, hard cookies are also good for teething, but make cookies with fruit juice
concentrate instead of sugar.

Homemade Cleaning Aids

Through the years I have gleaned files and files of ideas that help me as a wife,
mother, homemaker.Some of my favourite ideas are the homemade cleaning products. I love the feeling it gives me when I measure and brew, creating all sorts of concoctions that I can use to clean my house. I should have been a mad scientist!
Before you begin making your own cleaning aids remember to NEVER mix chlorine bleach
with ammonia products, lye, toilet bowl cleaners, rust removers, vinegar, oven cleaner or any
other cleaning agents. Such combinations release a dangerous gas that if inhaled, can cause
injury or death. Remember that some scouring powders contain chlorine bleach also.
Here is a list of cleaning products and how to make your own homemade version. They are all economical...you don’t have to have money to be clean! In fact, I went to a thrifty living class on cleaning and the woman had ALL store bought cleaning products! I almost fainted! The only time that you should have commercial products in your cupboards is if you bought them on sale and with a coupon! : )

HOMEMADE CLEANING PRODUCTS
Chemically treated dust cloth: Soft rag (soaked in vinegar and then dried.)

Treated floor mop: Soft rag (treated in vinegar as above) over broom or mop.

Tile Mildew cleaner: Bleach in spray bottle. Spray and leave on area for 15 min. Rinse with water.

Sticky Goo Remover: Orange essential oil (will have a reaction with some plastics, test small area first.)

Window cleaner: Combine and mix well in a gallon container- 2 Tbsp. non-sudsy ammonia, 1 tsp. liquid dish soap, 1 pt. rubbing alcohol, 1 or 2 drops blue food color, and finish filling with tap water.

Fine Wood Furniture Polish: 1/3 cup boiled linseed oil, 1/3 cup turpentine (not paint thinner),
1/3 cup vinegar. Combine and mix well. Wipe on with a slightly damp soft rag. Polish and shine.

Scented Furniture Wax: ½ cup beeswax, 2 ½ cups turpentine, 1 Tbsp. soap, 1 ½ cups strong herbal infusion (herbs and water boiled down to make a concentrated brew.) Lavender, roses or lemon peels make a wonderful scent.
Melt beeswax in turpentine over LOW heat source. In another pan, bring infusion to a boil and add grated soap until melted. Allow both mixtures to cool and then blend together until it is thick and creamy. Store in container.

Disinfectant spray: 1 pt. alcohol, 1 pt. water, 6 drops lemon essential oil, 6 drops orange essential oil, 12 drops tea tree essential oil. Combine in quart spray bottle. Some may question the use of expensive essential oils, however, a little goes a long way and they can also be used for medicinal purposes.

All-purpose cleaner for woodwork and painted walls: 1 cup ammonia, ½ cup vinegar, 3/4 cup sal soda (found in grocery stores in laundry section.) Wear gloves when using.

Drain Opener: 1 cup baking soda, 1 cup salt, ½ cup vinegar, 1 qt. boiling water
Pour soda, salt and vinegar into drain. Wait 15 min. and then flush with boiling water. If this doesn’t work, rent a snake, then use drain opener weekly.

Oven Cleaner: 1 cup ammonia, 3 cups boiling water
Warm oven to 200 degrees for about 20 minuets, then turn off oven. Fill a 9 x 13 pan with water and place on bottom rack in oven. Place small bowl of ammonia on top rack in oven and quickly close the oven door. Open windows, doors, etc..., to ventilate vapours. Leave cleaner in oven over night. The next day, ventilate room and stand back as you open oven door. Leave room until strong vapours are gone. Wash off the inside of oven with a liquid dish soap and water. Luckily, more modern ovens now have the self-cleaning feature.

Abrasive cleaner for porcelain: Flannel cloth sprinkled with salt.

Upholstery and carpet shampoo: Suds from detergent OR 6 Tbsp. white soap flakes, 1 pt. boiling water, 2 Tbsp. ammonia or borax
Dissolve soap in boiling water. Add borax or ammonia. Let stand until it jells. Brush in circular motion over area that is soiled. Wipe up the soiled suds with a clean, dry terry cloth. If necessary, repeat. Let dry completely before using.

Wallpaper cleaner: Stale chunks of bread, rubbed over wall-paper in even, vertical strokes.

Ceramic tile cleaner: Equal parts of ammonia and vinegar mixed with water.

Copper cleaner: Dip half a lemon in salt and rub the object. Rinse in hot water and polish with a soft cloth.

Silver polish: Place silverware in an aluminum pan and fill with a gallon of hat water to which one Tbsp. salt and 1 tsp. baking soda have been added. Swish silver around for several minutes, rinse well and polish with a soft cloth.

Aluminum cleaner: If pan is discoloured, boil rhubarb or tomatoes in it to remove stain.

Scratch remover: Dark woods- dye the scratches with iodine. Repeat application until scratch disappears. Light woods: rub the scratched area with the cut surface of walnut or Brazil nut meat. Natural woods: treat the scratched area with mineral oil.

Carpet Deodorizer: 1 box baking soda, 12 drops of favourite essential oil. Mix together in jar. Sprinkle on rug, let set for a couple of minutes then vacuum.

Degreaser: 1 Tbsp. deodorized kerosene, 1 quart water. Mix and wipe over area with soft cloth then dry.

Soft Scouring cleanser: 1/4 cup soap flakes, 2 tsp. borax, 1 ½ cups boiling water, 1/4 cup whiting (hardware or paint store). Dissolve soap and borax in boiling water. Cool. Add whiting and mix well. Store in plastic squeeze top container (an empty catsup bottle works well). Additional whiting may be added if you want a more abrasive cleanser. Shake well each time you use.

Lime remover: Vinegar, Salt. Mix equal parts and apply to area. Let set for 30 minutes. Scrub off with scouring pad. Larger batch can be made by adding water into container with vinegar and salt and soaking item (such as shower head) for specified time.

Toilet bowl cleaner: 1 tsp. ammonia, 1 cup hydrogen peroxide, ½ gal. water. Mix water, ammonia and peroxide in large container. Plunge toilet to remove water. Pour mixture into toilet and let stand for 1 hour. Scrub and flush.

Rusty bowl ring cleaner: Borax, Lemon juice. Make a paste and rub on rust stains. Let set for 1 hour. Scrub throughly with a pumice stone.

Pewter Cleaner: Rub with cabbage leaves

There are so many great sites on the internet for homemade cleaners! Here are a few of my favorites: http://www.naturodoc.com/library/lifestyle/cleaner.htm
http://www.dotcomwomen.com/home/cleaning-recipes.shtml
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Prairie/8088/clngrn.html

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice: Part 4- A Plea of Urgency

A PLEA TO FATHERS AND HUSBANDS

Our husbands have as much responsibility in supporting us in our efforts to live righteous lives as we have in supporting them in all they do.
“Verily I say unto you, that every man who is obliged to provide for his own family, let him provide, and he shall in nowise lose his crown.” (D&C 75:28)
“Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken” (D&C 83:2).
Referring to these scriptures, Ezra Taft Benson petitions husbands to give serious thought to their role in the family. “ This is the divine right of a wife and mother. While she cares for and nourishes her children at home, her husband earns the living for the family, which makes the nourishing possible. In a home where there is an able bodied husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner. Sometimes we hear of husbands who, because of economic conditions, have lost their jobs and expect the wives to go out of the home and work, even though the husband is capable of providing for his family. In these cases, we urge the husband to do all in his power to allow his wife to remain in the home caring for the children while he continues to provide for his family the best he can, even though the job he is able to secure may not be ideal and family budgeting may have to be tighter.
Also, the need for education or material things does not justify the postponing of children in
order to keep the wife working as the breadwinner in the family. I remember the counsel of our beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball to married students. He said, “I have told tens of thousands of young folks that when they marry they should not wait for children until they finished their schooling and financial desires....I know of no scripture where an authorization is given to young wives to withhold their families and go to work to put their husbands through school. There are thousands of husbands who have worked their own way through school and have reared families at the same time.”38
“Sometimes the mother works outside of the home at the encouragement, or even the
insistence, of her husband. It is he who wants the items or conveniences that the extra income
can buy. Not only will the family suffer in such instances, brethren, but your own spiritual
growth and progression will be hampered. I say to all of you, the Lord has charged men with the responsibility to provide for their families in such a way that the wife is allowed to fulfill her role as mother in the home.”39
Spencer W. Kimball asserts, “The Lord said women have claim upon their husbands for their maintenance until their husbands be taken. Women are to take care of the family – the Lord has so stated – to be an assistant to the husband, to work with him, but not to earn the living, except in unusual circumstances. Men ought to be men indeed and earn the living under normal circumstances.”40
The responsibility of keeping mother in the home is a joint effort between family members.
Elder Richard G. Scott advocates, “As a husband, don’t encourage your wife to go to work to
help in your divinely appointed responsibility of providing resources for the family, if you can
possibly avoid it. As the prophets have counseled, to the extent possible with the help of the Lord, as parents, work together to keep mother in the home.”41
Affirming all that has been stated by all the prophets from the beginning of time, Gordon B. Hinckley, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, announced in a
proclamation to the world, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their
families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred
responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.”42
I wonder how many women notice that men are responsible only to “provide the necessities of life...,” and not, all the luxuries that his wife wants? We have been so affluent as a society that we have forgotten the difference between needs and wants. Hopefully we will pause for a moment and truly examine what are needs are and what we can sacrifice in order to be home with our children.

A PLEA TO WIVES AND MOTHERS

Speaking of the break down of society, Spencer W. Kimball asks, “Can it be arrested? Can we turn the tide and bring back decency and order out of chaos?
The answer is yes- a positive, stentorian yes. But the solution is not easy.... The Lord has given us a plan, within our capacity to follow, but ignored by the masses because it requires that sacrifice and dedication that men are reluctant to give.”43
And what is that sacrifice and dedication of which President Kimball was speaking? He gives us the answer in this urgent, heart felt plea to the women of the Church.
“I beg of you, you who could and should be bearing and rearing a family: Wives, come home from the typewriter, the laundry, the nursing, come home from the factory, the café. No career approaches in importance that of wife, homemaker, mother – cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one’s precious husband and children. Come home, wives, to you husbands. Make home a heaven for them. Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await.
“When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children,
growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved your
accomplishment supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy [of all] through time and
eternity.”44
And finally, Gordon B. Hinckley pleads, “If anyone can change the dismal situation into which we are sliding, it is you. Rise up, O Women of Zion, rise to the great challenge which faces you.”45
Women, we are at the very root of the problem and the solution! If society is to change, it
will be because of righteous women. If children are to be able to stand valiant against ever
increasing wickedness, it will be because of righteous mothers in the home.
Please, Come Home!

(Bibliography and references upon request.)

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice: Part 3- A Voice of Promise II

PROMISE OF HOMES FORTIFIED AGAINST EVIL

“To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home – which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.”30 This incredible promise by Spencer W. Kimball, epitomizes the very essence of what a woman and mother should and can be.
Ezra Taft Benson was a great advocate for the home and family. The following quotes are just a few of the promissory statements that he made.
“The family is the most effective place to instill lasting values in its members. Where family
life is strong and based on principles and practices of the gospel of Jesus Christ, problems do not
as readily appear.”31
“In such homes there is no generation gap. This deceptive phrase is another tool of the devil
to weaken the home and family. Children who honor their parents and parents who love their
children can make a home a haven of safety and a little bit of heaven.”32
“Remember, the family is one of God’s greatest fortresses against the evils of our day. Help
keep your family strong and close and worthy of our Father in Heaven’s blessings. As you do,
you will receive faith and strength which will bless your lives forever.”33
“Home is love, understanding, trust, welcome, and a sense of belonging. If you, as wives,
mothers, and daughters take proper care of yourselves, your families, and your homes, and keep close to each other as sisters in Relief Society, many of the problems of the day troubling youth
and parents will pass you by.”34

PROMISE OF ENDURING FAMILY UNITS
The eternal family unit is our ultimate goal. Elder Robert D. Hales of the twelve apostles has
spoken on the importance of the eternal family and the promised blessings that can be ours only in the sanctity of the family unit. “...It is equally important that we understand that we are each an important and integral part of a family and the highest blessings can be received only within an eternal family. When families are functioning as designed by God, the relationships found therein are the most valued of mortality.”35
We are able to gain greater comprehension of the importance of the family and the immense
blessings to be obtained from that union, through these heart felt expressions of Ezra Taft
Benson.

“Marriage, home, and family are established by God as part of His divine plan for the
blessing of His children. The richest blessings and deepest joys of this life and the life to come are tied up with the performance of these sacred duties. In fact, our very exaltation in the celestial
kingdom is directly related to the family and the eternity of the marriage covenant.”36
“Home and family. What sweet memories surge up in our breasts at the mere mention of these cherished words! May I wish for you prayerfully, and with all the fervor of my soul, that
you may know the unspeakable joy and satisfaction of honorable parenthood. You will miss one
of the deepest joys of this life and eternity if you wilfully avoid the responsibilities of parenthood
and home building. As revealed through the Prophet Joseph Smith, the glorious concept of home
and the enduring family relationship lies at the very basis of our happiness here and hereafter. I
trust you will make your happiness secure.”37
The greatest guarantee we have that these promises are sure, come from the Lord, as He
gives us this avowal, “I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I
say, ye have no promise.” (D&C 82:10) And, “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven
before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated– And when we
obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to the law upon which it is predicated.” ( D&C
130: 20-21) What sweet blessings can be ours and all we have to do is be obedient!

Quit Work and Give Yourself a Raise

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavour.”
– Henry David Thoreau

QUIT WORK AND GIVE YOURSELF A RAISE - NET VALUE OF SECOND INCOME
After my first two children were born I sat down and decided to make a list of how much I
saved my family by staying home and doing much of the necessities myself, compared to going
out to work and being able to purchase what was needed. I was enthralled with the outcome.
Listing the services I performed for my family I wrote down everything I could think of
down to the smallest detail and then put a price next to it of the going rate to have that service
done by another. These were things like haircuts, sewing, cleaning, baking, cooking, child
care, etc... It was a great boost to my morale to see exactly how much I did for my family, but what was really exciting was seeing how much I was worth! I figured that what I did was
worth $20,000.00 in the job market of 1981...two or three times that now in the new millennium. It was an eye opener for me because in Provo, Utah, jobs were very poor paying...if you didn’t do it, some other struggling college student would...thus employers didn’t have to pay much to their employees. Yet staying home I found I was worth twice that of someone who left their home to work for someone else. I may not have brought that amount into our home physically but I saved the equivalent yearly by being in my home.
Today it is being discovered that the second income structure is extremely inefficient. It is
estimated that the average two income family has to earn at least 35 percent more money in
order to have the same standard of living as a single income family. The second income loses
27%-30% of it’s value to taxes alone! Then there is the consideration of all the extra expenses
that occur when you leave the responsibility of caring for home and family. Daycare averages
$100.00 a child per week! Convenience and fast food are possibly the biggest budget busters
and if you doubt that statement keep a tally of how many times you stop for a quick bite and
what it costs for the week. You’ll be amazed! Extra transportation and rising gas prices
crunch a large chunk of your change. Costlier clothing and hair care are another big
consideration. Expenses for household repairs and maintenance are also a huge price to pay
for joining the two income club. It is obvious that the second income lifestyle is expensive and
there are great benefits to staying home. The real benefits, however, are not so obvious. In the August 1999 issue of the Reader’s Digest, Andy Dappen’s article, “Live Well on One Income,” makes a statement that I would hope all of us would remember. He states that our lives can become less stressful, happier, more directed and fuller by embracing one simple idea... that we can’t have it all. He then calms everyone’s anxieties by claiming that we can have enough.
Living in a materialistic world is a burden to us physically, emotionally and spiritually.
When we choose to live in a way that gives us just enough, we have to make clearer choices
and establish our priorities with an eternal perspective. Maybe we will have a smaller home or
an older car but we will also be able to enjoy a life that is more relaxed and freer from stress,
realize the joys and heartaches of raising our own children, serve more fully in the church and
the community, and even have the time to discover personal interests.
Take the time now to discover for yourself what your true net worth is. It takes a little time but the effort is worth it because it firmly establishes in your mind and heart what your true net worth is.... both temporally and spiritually.

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice: Part Two- Words of Promise

WORDS OF PROMISE

As a rainbow follows a storm, so do sweet words of promise follow the warning cries of all
the prophets. These are the promised blessings for those who heed God’s counsel pertaining to
mothers staying in the home.

PROMISE OF JOY AND PEACE

“I wish to say without equivocation that a woman will find no greater satisfaction and joy and peace and make no greater contribution to mankind than in being a wise and worthy woman and raising good children." These words spoken by Spencer W. Kimball bring comfort today just as they did when he first uttered them. Who wouldn’t want these promised blessings in their lives?

Ezra Taft Benson gives us this assurance of blessings that await those who are obedient to God’s word, “We need to arise and shine and to get the vision of this great work and to incorporate it into our lives and homes and our families. If we do so the Lord will bless us because He loves us. We are His people. We have accepted His gospel. You have taken upon yourselves sacred covenants and He wants to bless you. He wants to pour out His blessings, the blessings of heaven, upon you and your families. In those homes where you live the gospel, where mother and father and children are skimping just a little more to make ends meet, He will bless you even more, much more than He will in those homes where we find so many mothers unnecessarily working outside the home in order to get better clothes, a new living room suite, a new rug on the floor.”26 Despite their circumstances, Ezra Taft Benson, laid claim to great blessings promised to those who are faithful. “Regardless of how modest or humble that home may be, it will have love, happiness, peace, and joy. Children will grow up in righteousness and truth, and will desire to serve the Lord.”27

In his counsel to the women of the Church, Gordon B. Hinckley pledged, “To the mothers of this church, every mother who is here today, I want to say that as the years pass, you will become increasingly grateful for that which you did in molding the lives of your children in the direction of righteousness, integrity, and faith. That is most likely to happen if you can spend adequate time
with them.”28

The joy that comes from living the great plan of happiness was at the heart of what Elder Richard G. Scott bore witness to, when he uttered this promise. “As a mother guided by the Lord, you weave a fabric of character in your children from threads of truth through careful instruction and worthy example. You imbue the traits of honesty, faith in God, duty, respect for others, kindness, self confidence, the desire to contribute, to learn, to give in your trusting children’s minds and hearts. No day care center can do that. It is your sacred right and privilege.”29

Frugal Dating Ideas

Before I continue with more words from the prophets about the blessings that come from being an at-home-mom, I thought I would have a fun spot where we can share ideas for keeping our marriages healthy and alive.



“If our homes are to be seedbeds of faith, a prerequisite condition to increasing faith is to have love and harmony in the home. Husbands and wives must love and cherish one another. Selfish attitudes must be overcome. Faults must be overlooked. Contention must cease. Husbands and wives must be true and loyal to each other and the sacred covenant of marriage. Expressions of love must be tendered one another. ...Yes, love at home is a prerequisite condition to increasing your faith.”2
– Ezra Taft Benson


“Live joyfully with thy wife (husband) whom thou lovest...”
– Eccl. 9:9

DATE NIGHT IDEAS
To improve a marriage or make a good marriage great, plan to have a weekly date night. In my opinion, date night is essential in keeping the communication, romance and fun in your marriage.
An idea I once heard suggests that you and your husband (wife) should sit down and each write twenty six ideas of date night activities that you each would really enjoy on individual slips of paper. Fold up each suggestion and place them in a jar. (Decorate the jar and make it a special part of your home.) Each week draw a slip of paper from the jar and do that activity for your date night. There will be enough ideas for an entire year of date nights. Try and be flexible. Some weeks there will be a special concert, play or movie that will be around for a limited engagement only. Date nights don’t have to be expensive either! Occasionally, a special (maybe even extravagant) night out is in order, such as an anniversary, but for the most part, date nights are for improving relationships and remembering why you married your spouse in the first place. The following date night ideas cost as little as $5.00 or less.
*Games
*Outdoors Scrabble- find an unusual place to play scrabble, such as, in the mountains, park, lake, by a river or the beach, creating words from your
surroundings only. (You may need to increase the number of tiles used.)
*Game Night- invite some other couples to come over for games and have them
bring favourite snack food to share.
*Recreational Activities
*Bike Ride Coin Toss- Heads right, tails left at every intersection.

*Frisby Golf- find some of your old tomato baskets and space each at varying
distances. Keep track of how many throws it takes to get your frisby in the baskets. The lowest score wins and buys treats.
*Trampoline War- buy two cans of “silly string” and try to hit each other with it
while jumping on the trampoline together.
*Sports
*Tennis- try using a beach ball or a child’s rubber ball.
*Uno Bowling- use Uno cards and draw a card before each turn. Assign an
interesting bowling stunt to each color, such as, crow for red, bark for yellow, clap for blue, etc...and do as many as number on card indicates. Skip to the bowling line when you draw a skip card, bowl backwards when you draw a reverse card. Of course, you know what to do with those wild cards!
*Night Golf- use glow in the dark balls.
*Nature Ideas
*Compass Hike- takes a little advance preparation. Find a romantic spot and set up a table with picnic basket meal. Plan out coordinates. Bring wife to starting place and let her try to find the directions. No helping unless you are in danger of being hopelessly lost.
*Nature Walk- enjoy nature and keep track of who sees the most unusual things.

*Go Fishing- and eat what you catch for your date.
*Feed the Ducks at the Park.
*Go Bird Watching.
*Winter Snow Fights- build opposing forts and a stock of snowballs then declare war!
*Eat Dessert by a campfire.
*Environmental Date- clean trash off of a messy road. Recycle it and buy an ice
cream cone to share (or two cones if it was a really messy road).
*Star Gazing- study up on constellations and then find someplace where you can lay out a blanket and watch the stars. August is an especially good time of year for this because there are usually meteor showers.
*Planetarium- Colleges and Universities will have special showings and do not
usually charge as much as large commercial planetariums.
*Dinners
*Campfire dinner- roast hot dogs or create tin foil dinners. Enjoy while eating
to the light of the fire.
*Picnic in an Unusual Place- a cave (make sure there are no creatures in it
first), a mall, a scenic overlook, etc...
*Kidnap Dinner- Set up a tent in your back yard or a nearby campground and
prepare a table with candlelight and dinner in basket. When your spouse gets home, blindfold them and drive for a few minutes taking all kinds of sharp turns and bumpy roads. Guide them into the tent and close flap. Have them try to guess where you are. You may even want to make arrangements to have someone stay with the kids overnight and have an overnighter in the tent.
*Foreign Country Night- prepare foods from the country of your choice and
decorate the room with items from that area.
*Winter Picnic- dress for the occasion. Build a fire and cook tin foil dinners over it. Make some hot cocoa.
*Candlelight Dinner in Bedroom- always fun!
*Pickup Picnic- drive someplace different and set up a table and chairs in the back of your pickup. Dinner can be prepared ahead of time or cooked there if there’s a spot available. Remember to bring the candles!
*Ramen Noodle Cuisine- Create the most exotic Ramen noodle dish you can while only spending a dollar!
*Mini Dinner- everything is in miniature! Roast Cornish game hens for the main course. Use “Little Smokies” and create a mini kabob by alternating them with pineapple tidbits and cheese squares on toothpicks. Use mini carrots and a dip in a tiny container. Roast a miniature marshmallow on a toothpick over a
birthday candle and place them on a “Teddy Graham”cookie with a chocolate chip for miniature s’mores.
*Intellectual Dates(Well, almost!)
*Museums or Art Exhibits- critique the exhibits and give your professional estimate of the value of each object.
*Write Poetry- take turns writing a line of poetry and see what you come up with.

*Improve Communication Skills- by not saying anything all night. Try using just body language.
*Go to Library- look up the newspaper archives and find out what took place on your anniversary, birthdays or some other special occasion.
*Romantic Reading- build a fire (in the fireplace or a campfire), snuggle up
together and read....a joke book.
*Spiritual Dates
*Go to the temple.

*Go to the family history center and do some genealogy.
*Give service to someone in need.
*Ding Dong Ditch- secretly take a basket of treats to someone to let them know they are loved and appreciated. Place it on the doorstep, ring the bell and run. Make sure you wear dark clothes for this date.
*Hobbies
*Tie a Quilt Together.
*Fly Kites Together.
*Collect Rocks- when you do or go someplace special together take a nice rock
home with you. Eventually you’ll have a landscaped yard of rocks and each one will have special meaning to you.
*Art- use sidewalk chalk and create your own masterpieces.
*Dancing- take a social dance class from the local college or community education.

These are just a few ideas that I've collected through the years. My daughter Emily has come up up a huge list of her own which she puts on little slips of paper, places in nicely decorated jars, and gives as wedding gifts. A wonderful idea! She also puts a great quote on the front of the jar that encourages dating after marriage. Hey, Emily, if you see this will you post some of your ideas on the comments? Could we have that quote too? If anyone has clever date night ideas that are economical too, please comment.

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice: Part 1- A Warning Voice

For those of you who are not LDS and wonder about prophets...this is a quick little comment about what we believe. We believe that God speaks to us now, just as He did in ancient times, through a prophet. This is Thomas S. Monson, our prophet today. I personally believe it is the arrogance of man that believes that God can't or doesn't use prophets today. Who are we to say what God can or cannot do? He's God, and will do what he wants! But how do you know that this, or any man is a real prophet? It says right in the scriptures... Matthew 7:15-20. The difference between a false prophet and a true prophet is "by their fruit [the things they do] ye shall know them." If you want to know more scriptorialy I will be happy to post more later. I just wanted to clarify the title of this post. We believe that God loves his children and wants what is best for our joy and happiness in this life. Here are some of the words from prophets (ancient and modern) that may motivate and inspire each of us to see the wisdom in being at-home-moms.

Since the beginning of time God has placed prophets on the earth as His spokesmen, to warn all who would listen of the calamities that were sure to come to those who disobey God’s laws; of the sweetness of God’s promised blessings; and to utter an urgent plea for all to follow God’s words.

A VOICE OF WARNING
In, “THE FAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD”, President Gordon B. Hinckley, stands as a sentinel to the inhabitants of the earth in our day, and forewarns..... “We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn
that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” 1

WARNING OF SATAN’S INFLUENCE

Forewarning us of the evil that Satan will prevail upon the hearts of the people, the ancient apostle, Paul, declared to us in our day these prophetic words that are disturbingly familiar. “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent [without self control], fierce, despisers of those that are good. Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:1-4) All we have to do is look around us to see the fulfillment of this scripture. Our families, our children, live in a world where these evil characteristics are common and thought correct. How can we combat the onslaught of these morals in our homes? God gives us the solution by way of the prophets.
We gain valuable truths from David O. McKay in a letter where he writes, “The adversary knows ‘that the home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”2
In the early 70's, Ezra Taft Benson, apostle and later prophet of the church warned, “The family is under attack today as never before, at least in my memory, and it is very real. Yet the family is the rock foundation, the cornerstone, of civilization. The Church will never be stronger than its families, and this nation will never rise above its homes and its families.” 3
Warning all in a 1996, October general conference address, Elder Robert D. Hales, of the twelve apostles states, “Because of the importance of the family to the eternal plan of happiness, Satan makes a major effort to destroy the sanctity of the family, demean the importance of the role of men and women, encourage moral uncleanliness and violations of the sacred law of chastity, and to discourage parents from placing the bearing and rearing of children as one of their highest priorities.”4
Elder Richard G. Scott, of the quorum of the twelve apostles admonishes, “ Beware of the subtle ways Satan employs to take you from the plan of God and true happiness. One of Satan’s most effective approaches is to demean the role of wife and mother in the home. This is an attack at the very heart of God’s plan to foster love between husband and wife and to nurture children in an atmosphere of understanding, peace, appreciation, and support. Much of the
violence that is rampant in the world today is the harvest of weakened homes. Government and social plans will not effectively correct that, nor can the best efforts of schools and churches fully compensate for the absence of the tender care of a compassionate mother and wife in the home.”5
President Gordon B. Hinkley, proclaimed in general conference of October, 1998, “The home is under siege. So many families are being destroyed...
Never before, at least not in our generation, have the forces of evil been so blatant, so brazen, so aggressive as they are today. ...I believe our problems, almost every one, arise out of the homes of the people. If there is to be a reformation, if there is to be a change, if there is to be a return to old and sacred values, it must begin in the home.”6

WARNING OF WORLDLY VOICES

Women have been inundated with the politically correct mantras of the day that repeatedly tell us that we need to seek self-fulfillment in other places than our homes, and that self-esteem is only gained through worldly wealth, success, and countless other forms of self-indulgent occupations. Here is what the prophets have been saying for decades about the dangers of listening to the
worldly voices that are all around us.
Speaking of the “beguiling voices” of the world during October 1981 General Conference, Ezra Taft Benson stated, “There are voices in our midst which would attempt to convince you that these home-centered truths are not applicable to our present-day conditions. If you listen and heed, you will be lured away from your principal obligations. Beguiling voices in the world cry out for “alternative life-styles” for women. They maintain that some women are better suited for careers than for marriage and motherhood. These individuals spread their discontent by the propaganda that there are more exciting and self-fulfilling roles for women than homemaking. Some even have been bold to suggest that the Church move away from the “Mormon woman stereotype” of homemaking and rearing children. They also say it is wise to limit your family so you can have more time for personal goals and self-fulfillment.”7 Ezra Taft Benson also admonishes, “There is no satisfactory substitute for mother, and no one can take care of her children as she can. No so-called social obligations, social enticements, or outside interests should impel any mother to neglect the sacred charge that is hers of caring for her own flesh and blood.”8 He also warns, “Fathers, you cannot delegate you duty as the head of the home. Mothers, train up your children in righteousness; do not attempt to save the world and thus let your own fireside fall apart. The duty of parents is to be of help to each other and to the children; then comes their duty to their neighbors, community, nation, and world, in that order.”9

David O. McKay warns women that equality should not be confused with equivalence when he spoke these inspired words, “ Woe to that home where the mother abandons her holy mission or neglects the divine instruction, influence, and example— while she bows, a devotee, at the shrine of social pleasure; or neglects the essential duties of her own household, in her enthusiasm to promote public reform.”10
Spencer W. Kimball warned about the voices of materialism and social pleasure, “Too many mothers work away from home to furnish [expensive clothing] and music lessons and trips and fun for their children. Too many women spend their time in socializing, in politicking, in public services when they should be home to teach and train and receive and love their children into security.”11
A child’s basic need for mother and home is a theme that the prophets have repeated over and over throughout the years. Spencer W. Kimball stated, “A child needs a mother available more than all the things which money can buy.”12
Ezra Taft Benson repeatedly cautioned, “Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all.”13
“The seeds of divorce are often sown and the blessings of children delayed by wives working outside the home. Working mothers should remember that their children usually need more of mother than of money.”14
Even such a seemingly harmless topic as education can be twisted by worldly voices in order to confuse women as to their eternal goals. Concerning education, Ezra Taft Benson has counseled, “It is a misguided idea that a woman should leave the home, where there is a husband and children, to prepare educationally and financially for an unforseen eventuality. Too often, I
fear, even women in the Church use the world as their standard for success and basis for self-worth. Some are deluded into believing that more and better circumstances will improve their self-image. A positive self-image has little relationship to our material circumstances.”15 And, “The first priority for a woman is to prepare herself for her divine and eternal mission, whether she is married soon or late. It is folly to neglect that preparation for education in unrelated fields just to prepare temporarily to earn money. Women, when you are married it is the husband’s role to provide, not yours. Do not sacrifice your preparation for an eternally ordained mission for the temporary expediency of money-making skills which you may or may not use.”16

WARNING OF RATIONALIZATION
Next to fear and despair, I feel that rationalization has to be one of Satan’s greatest tools in convincing women to denigrate the role of homemaker and mother to a lesser level of importance. It is so easy to believe that we are the exception to the rule rather than the solution. That is why the prophets have so vigilantly warned us of the dangers of rationalizing ourselves out of living the commandments, a sort of smorgasbord concept of gospel living. Concerning rationalization, Spencer W. Kimball exhorts, “Let every working mother honestly weigh the matter and be sure the Lord approves before she rushes her babies off to the nursery, her children off to school, her husband off to work, and herself off to her employment. Let her be certain that she is not rationalizing herself away from her children merely to provide for them greater material things. Let her analyze well before she permits her precious ones to come home to an empty house where their plaintive cry, ‘Mother,’ finds no loving answer.”17 He also cautions, “Some women, because of circumstances beyond their control, must work. We understand that. We understand further that as families are raised, the talents God has given you and blessed you with can often be put to effective use in additional service to mankind. Do not, however, make the mistake of being drawn off into secondary tasks which will cause the neglect of your eternal assignments such as giving birth to and rearing the spirit children of our Father in Heaven. Pray carefully over all your decisions.”18
Gordon B. Hinckley, repeatedly has admonished us to carefully weigh our decisions. In 1996 General Conference he urges, “...I hope if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that the basic needs are met and not simply to indulge a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries. The greatest job any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place. It is well nigh impossible to be a full-time homemaker and a full-time employee. I know how some of you struggle with decisions concerning this matter. I repeat, do the very best you can. You know your circumstances, and I know that you are deeply concerned for the welfare of your children. Each of you has a bishop who will counsel with you and assist you.....”19
If we feel that our circumstances warrant our working outside the home it is of the utmost urgency that we gain a certain knowledge, through prayer, that it is our only course and sanctioned by the Lord. Otherwise, we must be aware of the consequences if we try and rationalize ourselves from obeying God’s commandments.

WARNING OF THE BREAK UP OF THE FAMILY
Divorce and the break up of the family is epidemic in society. These warnings have been proclaimed for decades by our prophets, of the ultimate price that would be paid for by women working outside the home. The warning voice of Spencer W. Kimball clearly states, “Through both spouses working, competition rather than cooperation enters into the family. Two weary workers return home with taut nerves, individual pride, [and] increased independence, and then misunderstandings arise. Little frictions pyramid into monumental ones. Frequently spouses sinfully turn to new and old romances and finally the seeming inevitable break come through a divorce with its heartaches, bitterness, and disillusionments, and always ugly scars.”20 Spencer W. Kimball also states, “From such homes come many conflicts, marital problems, and divorces, and delinquent children. Few people in trouble ever ascribe their marital conflicts to these first causes, but blame each other for the problems which were born and nurtured in strained environments. Certainly the harmonious relationship of father and mother and the emotional climate prevailing between parents give soundness and security to children.”21
Ezra Taft Benson also adds these prophetic words as a witness to the truths that have already been stated, “It is because of this belief [the eternal nature of the family] that the Church decries divorce, and that we are actively engaged in teaching fathers that their most important duty is within the walls of their own homes, and mothers that they should be full-time mothers in the home.”22
“Numerous divorces can be traced directly to the day when the wife left the home and went out into the world of employment. Two incomes raise the standard of living beyond its norm. Two spouses working prevents the complete and proper home life, breaks into family prayers, creates an independence which is not cooperative, causes distortion, limits the family, and frustrates the children already born.”23
“Working mothers contribute to increased divorce, to infidelity, to the weakening of homes.Brothers and sisters, it isn’t worth it. The Lord help us, on bended knees, to seek the inspiration of heaven, that we may be guided to live the gospel, to do our duties as parents and as young people also, that we may grow up together as families with family solidarity and unity in our homes.”24
With so much at stake how could we possibly ignore these warning voices?

If you would like a list of references, please comment and I will send them to you.

An Introduction

We live in a day and age when most women work outside of the home because they think they have to, but I'm here to tell you that isn't true.... you don't have to work. Well, yes, it is true if your husband has passed away or divorced you, or he is disabled in someway, but if he is a perfectly healthy man then it is possible to be home with your family and live comfortably on just his income. There are some conditions to this however, but I will address them later. My purpose for starting this blog is to help women see that they can be home with their children, to love, teach, and nurture them to be happy adjusted human beings. It takes a lot of work and getting rid of a lot of preconceived ideas that stop us from being successful.
Let me start by saying that I have always been home with my children. I’m an ordinary, in fact, uncommonly ordinary woman who had four children and stayed home to raise them to adulthood. We have never been afluent, but always had enough for our needs. I love my quiet life of being a wife, mother and homemaker. I love the freedom I have to just pick up and leave to serve
where I see a need or when it is asked of me. I love the coziness of casual conversations with dear friends whenever the feeling strikes me or them. The joy I receive from creating something from nothing is only surpassed by the feelings I have for my family and my faith in Christ. I hold dear the quiet moments where I restore my soul by pondering the things of the Spirit. I love the simplicity of my life and I can't believe that I am the only woman out there that feels this way.
I hear women mourn the fact that they feel that if they quit work that their families would starve and that they would never be able to make ends meet. I’m here to tell you that it can be done!
In 1993 my husband decided to start his own business. We had heard how hard the first few years were going to be financially, yet we were still committed in keeping “mother” in the home, and had faith that the Lord would help us in our righteous desires. That was a very rough first year. It was hard in ways I didn’t even comprehend existed. Not only were my resourcefulness and budgeting skills challenged, but psychologically and spiritually I was tried to the very depths of my soul. It was definitely a refiner’s fire for me (and I was the
refiner’s fire for my husband). While it was a lot of hard work and a bit of a struggle at times, we managed to keep our grocery budget between $25.00-$30.00 a week, we had all our needs met and even lived somewhat comfortably. When it was time, however, to figure all of our income and expenses for the year, we were amazed to find that our income level was well below what the government considers poverty level! We hadn’t even felt poverty stricken!
Our second year was an even greater eye opener! Financially, the tightness seemed to ease. We were able to do a lot of extras. The kids were active in the music program at their schools and music can be so expensive. We were even able to get a little ahead, so we figured the business was doing a lot better, but to our complete surprise we had made identically the same amount as the previous year!
I have a few friends and family who are stay-at-home mothers but they were astounded at how far I could make the budget stretch. When I told them what I did to make it stretch so far, they complained that it was just too much work. That I can’t dispute. Your home and family are your jobs. It is work . . . a lot of it. But isn’t it better to put your heart, soul, talent, and intelligence into something that can keep you home with your family, than burn yourself out for
someone or something that isn’t of eternal importance? That is what this blog is designed to accomplish. First, to inspire you with the words of others, to help lift you and encourage you to return home from the work place and keep you inspired over the rough times that are sure to come. Second, to give you the encouragement and the resources that will help you, help yourself, to stay home.

The ideas that we will discuss here are tried and true. They have worked wonderfully for me in caring for my family. I pray they will help you and bring to you the joy and fulfillment that can only come to you as a Mother, striving to keep the welfare of your precious children and family first. Afterall, they didn't ask to come to our homes...we are the ones that brought them to it, and we should be the ones to nurture them to grow to become adults who make this world a better place because they are here.

God bless you in your sincere desires and efforts.